Subject: A Sears employee responds.

Posted by: Mystaque at 04/25/00 18:16

[Bob, I think you ought to have a look at this. That idiot mailboy left it in my box--M.]

To: "Bob," The Jaegermeister
From: Jinny Smith, Warranty and Repair, Sears

Dear Mr. Meister:

With regard to your request for repairs to one (1) Yard King Deluxe Crossbow of Ineffectual Wounding Model 5-B with Optional Mulching Attachment, we regret to inform you that Sears is unable to fulfill your request for the following reason(s):

Customer failed to return warranty registration card within thirty (30) days of purchase.

While we cannot honor your warranty request, please be assured that we at Sears value you as a customer. As a token of our continued faith in our business relationship with you and your Neons [They're just adorable! I have a little purple one!--J.S.], please select 1 (one) of the following as a replacement for your Yard King Model 5-B:

a. Ronco Spud Master Model 382 Potato Pellet Gun
b. Splatterworld Paintball Pistol w/One Dozen E-Z Wash Non-Toxic Paint Pellets in Fun Pastel Colors
c. Hamilton Beach Salad Shooter (tm)

We at Sears look forward to serving you in the future. Hope your path to world domination is a smooth one!

Sincerely,

Jinny Smith

[And I told you to save that receipt, too, didn't I, Bob?]

Mystaque