Subject: You think that plastic bag can save you, little book?

Posted by: Shadowcrab at 03/03/00 15:52

Random rentings with the Pincers of Death!! (and Uncanny X-Men 380, the victim of the random rentin--oh, you get the idea--)

Is it really necessary that the whole team appear in every single two-inch-wide panel? It's starting to look like the chain-gang escape sequence in Woody Allen's "Take the Money and Run."

Note 1 from the door of the space-station refrigerator of Mr. Sinister: Gee, my moo-tant powers are okey-dokey out here. Wonder if other moo-tants' moo-tant powers would be okey-dokey out here, too?
Note 2: Nah!!
Note 3: HotPockets, milk, Sunny Delite, bread, peanut butter

More on those tiny panels: They detract just a bit from the portrayal of epic events. "Oh, you big naughty!" bellows Mr. Sinister. "You wrecked my evil thingy!"--as we, the intrepid readers, scramble for magnifying lenses to see exactly what "evil thingy" was wrecked, and by whom. [Whoops. Was that A SPOILER? Well, just leave the magnifying lens in its case, and you'll be fine.]

[Mr. Sinister. Sorry, I just can't take him seriously. I see that black lipstick, and all I can think of is Tim Curry as Frank N. Furter.]

Quick rewrite of the scene where Rogue again visits Mystique in the slammer:
R: Ah'm sorry, Mama. Ain't nuthin'--NUTHIN'--I can do for yuh! Ah'm so SORRY!
M: You might try calling me a lawyer.
R: Say-uh what?
M: CALL ME A LAWYER!!!
R: Well, okay, Mama. But ah don't know what good it'll do. You're a lawyer, Mama.
[Mystique bends straight forward until her forehead is resting on the table. She mutters something that neither the Comics Code nor the board moderator will allow to be printed here.]
R: What was that, Mama?
M: [To the tabletop:] You can go now, Rogue. I'll take my savage revenge on you and your idiot friends later, okay?
R: Okay, Mama. But, Mama--?
M: What?
R: Not when "The Practice" is on, okay? 'Cause Kitty ain't around so much right now, her goin' t'school an' all, an' Kurt an' Remy managed t' screw up the VCR, an' Kitty's the only one can fix it.
M: Fine. Savage revenge after "The Practice." Goodbye, Rouge.
R: It's "Rogue," Mama.
M: Whatever.

Shadowcrab