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Subject: X-Men 109. Wolverine's Secret Santa.
Posted by: Mystaque at 01/02/01 16:44
FOR FRIGHT'S SAKE, TAKE CARE! THIS MIGHT BE A *gasp* SPOILER!
So Viper gives Wolverine a box
tied with a big red bow, and, trusting guy that he is, he opens it. It could be a bomb. It should be a bomb. (I was having an amusing Harley Quinn flash there; excuse me.) It's not a bomb. It's one of his old bone
claws. Quoth the trusting Wolverine (and paraphraseth I): "It's one of my old bone claws. It's a message from Kitty Pryde, lettin' me know she's alright." (Excuse me for shortening the actual comment: I
default to Near-Human Speech, and I can't figure out how to change the setting.) So not only is Wolverine trusting and optimistic (as we all know he is), he's psychic, too. See, the sender of the claw didn't include
a note or a tasteful gift card. Said unincluded gift card might have read "We, the [insert name of random terrorist/anti-mutant/supervillain group here], have slaughtered your friend Kitty like a garden slug
and pried this from her cold, dead hands. Kindly explain why she wasn't smart enough to attach a proper handle to it if she was daft enough to be using it like a knife." or something to that effect. Without the
prescience with which Mr. C so kindly endows him, Wolverine can't possibly know from this that Kitty's alright. If he'd received a box containing a brown human eyeball (or, with a nod to the braintrust that colors
Kitty's eyes, an eyeball that changes randomly from brown to blue and back again), would he have said, "The kid's keepin' an eye on me. That means she's alright."?
Well, okay, probably. You got me there.
Mystaque
"The presence of man on this earth is a failed experiment that does not withstand close scrutiny."
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