Subject: Moooo....

Posted by: Mystaque at 11/09/00 17:49

The latest from Three-Color Review:

"Marvel to 'cull herd' with new title.

"Comic shop owners will issue tests of philosophical logic and reason to consumers wishing to purchase the newest X-title (as yet unnamed), Marvel Entertainment Group announced Thursday. Said tests will be issued to subscribers by mail before subscription requests for the book, to be written by veteran X-scribe Chris Claremont, are processed. 'We're really tired of the number of crass readers making emotional and rationally unfounded comments about our books,' said company publicist Ari Ripdov. 'They refuse to approach the X-universe with the depth of thought the titles so richly deserve.' Developing the tests in conjunction with MENSA, Phi Beta Kappa, and the National Educational Testing Service was challenging, but ultimately, said Ripdov, 'we will be able to reward our serious readers with a fan environment worthy of their hours of study and devotion.' Marvel will issue sterling silver lapel pins similar to Phi Beta Kappa 'key' pins to readers who score in the 70 to 94 percentile on the test, while those readers scoring in the rarefied top five percentile will be rewarded with pins in solid ten-karat gold. The company will 'strongly discourage' retailers from selling the book to consumers who fail or refuse to take the test. 'We're not saying comic shop owners should use any means necessary to keep the riff-raff away from the book,' Ripdov said. 'No, maybe we are. No, definitely we are. Those dilettantes can go to he--.' In conjunction with the test, Barron's Publishing is expected to offer study guides similar to those available for the GRE."

This is so unfair!

Mystaque